( There's more than one way to be defeated. Self-defeating, self-recriminations, self-doubt. Wei Wuxian knows more about all those these days than he did when he was younger, more confident that between the two of them, the world could be managed, would be sorted, would be just. It's not growing up so much as growing into the awareness of how complicated a concept that was, how power and political structures and connections and finances drove all of that, and how even each one of those things could be toppled by public opinion. Right or wrong. On heresy or with evidence.
His smile is drier than his eyes, even now, and his laughter is brief and low and ends with a sigh. )
Jiang Cheng, we do get second chances. Shijie would tell you the same. You and I can't change the people we've been, or the things we've done in the past. That's not the same as not changing the people we're still becoming, or the things we do each day we're here.
( Alive, conscious, and working. Sixteen years that he cannot explain as anything other than darkness, his awareness limited to that fact. A summoning and a curse, and being abandoned and collected all over again, this time with even less warning.
He's happy. Not whole, not complete, but he can breathe, he can tilt his head back and see skies in all their flavours, he has the chance to speak with one of the only people left alive who has ever felt like family, and that's incredible. He smiles, because wrestling with himself to say these things is harder than he wants it to be, and a smile can be like armour, too. )
Yes, I did calm Chifeng-Zun's resentment filled spirit, but can you honestly tell me I did all of that alone? You're calling me a hero, haven't you figured out the same thing I have? Heroes don't work alone. Heroes don't survive alone, Jiang Cheng.
( He hadn't. Wouldn't have still, if Lan Zhan hadn't stood by him in the last few months. He breathes in, then sighs out, rubbing at his own cheek like he can rub off the tear tracts there. )
Shijie was so much better at this. Jiang Cheng, you get a second chance, you deserve it more than I do, so why do you make it sound like you don't?
laughs it's okay, we are of a kind in this
His smile is drier than his eyes, even now, and his laughter is brief and low and ends with a sigh. )
Jiang Cheng, we do get second chances. Shijie would tell you the same. You and I can't change the people we've been, or the things we've done in the past. That's not the same as not changing the people we're still becoming, or the things we do each day we're here.
( Alive, conscious, and working. Sixteen years that he cannot explain as anything other than darkness, his awareness limited to that fact. A summoning and a curse, and being abandoned and collected all over again, this time with even less warning.
He's happy. Not whole, not complete, but he can breathe, he can tilt his head back and see skies in all their flavours, he has the chance to speak with one of the only people left alive who has ever felt like family, and that's incredible. He smiles, because wrestling with himself to say these things is harder than he wants it to be, and a smile can be like armour, too. )
Yes, I did calm Chifeng-Zun's resentment filled spirit, but can you honestly tell me I did all of that alone? You're calling me a hero, haven't you figured out the same thing I have? Heroes don't work alone. Heroes don't survive alone, Jiang Cheng.
( He hadn't. Wouldn't have still, if Lan Zhan hadn't stood by him in the last few months. He breathes in, then sighs out, rubbing at his own cheek like he can rub off the tear tracts there. )
Shijie was so much better at this. Jiang Cheng, you get a second chance, you deserve it more than I do, so why do you make it sound like you don't?