( He protests verbally without offering any physical resistance when Lan Zhan pulls him over to the sink, running his hand under cold water. He honestly doesn't feel much of it, but telling that to Lan Zhan seems wrong, too, in a sense, like he's admitting something that's not normal. So he doesn't say that, just repeats: )
I'm fine, really, Lan Zhan, I am.
( But if this helps, and logically he knows for the sake of his skin, it does help, then he won't fight it. Just bite his lower lip, thinking and fussed over his own thoughts, and: )
Do you... do you want that?
( Living together, it feels like an even more intimate step, and he's scared, a bit, of there being a tipping point he'll find if they're living together and what happens, what happens if he suddenly feels too cooped up? What if Lan Zhan finds him too annoying? It's one thing to tolerate in friends, but he's seen how slow fractures can drive people from caring about each other to loving under heavy weights of frustration and unhappiness, and he doesn't live with Yanli to see how she and Zixuan handle themselves, to know it's okay. Zixuan refused to have anything to do with her most their lives, so even that! There's no precedence. None that he has. )
no subject
I'm fine, really, Lan Zhan, I am.
( But if this helps, and logically he knows for the sake of his skin, it does help, then he won't fight it. Just bite his lower lip, thinking and fussed over his own thoughts, and: )
Do you... do you want that?
( Living together, it feels like an even more intimate step, and he's scared, a bit, of there being a tipping point he'll find if they're living together and what happens, what happens if he suddenly feels too cooped up? What if Lan Zhan finds him too annoying? It's one thing to tolerate in friends, but he's seen how slow fractures can drive people from caring about each other to loving under heavy weights of frustration and unhappiness, and he doesn't live with Yanli to see how she and Zixuan handle themselves, to know it's okay. Zixuan refused to have anything to do with her most their lives, so even that! There's no precedence. None that he has. )
You, that wouldn't be too much?