[ It was all supposed to be so much easier than this.
When they were younger their paths had been set out in front of them, built by his parents with notes so easy to follow. Jiang Yanli would marry into the Jin Sect and create an alliance that would benefit Yunmeng for generations. Wei Wuxian would stay as the Head Disciple, to stand by their leader's side and prove the worth of the Jiang Sect for the rest of their long lives. He, Jiang Cheng, would rise up and take his father's place once he retired, being trained and well-educated in how best to continue. He would marry a suitable woman and raise children to take on the mantle once he, too, grew too old and tired.
None of that had happened. Yanli had died. Jin Zixuan had died. The option of marriage had been taken from him with the wreckage of the Sunshot Campaign, leaving Wen Qing a prisoner of fate - the kind that he could not save her from due to his own rage and heartache. Each person in his life had chosen something other than the path he had wanted - that he had thought was their plan. Yanli had been taken, had chosen Wei Wuxian in death. Wen Qing and Wen Ning gave their lives to protect another. Wei Wuxian had chosen the Wen Clan over the Jiang and taken his own steps into the future.
Jiang Cheng had never had a choice. Even in hindsight, looking back, he knows that he had been backed into a corner - either by desperation or by the other Sect Leaders, demanding that he choose, demanding that he either protect what remained of Lotus Pier or he protect the Yiling Patriarch. There had never been a choice there, not with the burden of dozens of deaths on his shoulders, with the ghosts of his parents staring at him from beyond the grave.
Hands shaking, he turns his gaze away from Wei Wuxian to stare up at the shrine, to their names hovering there, almost taunting. There is no chance that his father and his mother are proud of him now, no matter what Wei Wuxian might say. There is no way that Yanli looks down on him with a smile when he had been unable to protect her, when he had raised A-Ling to be an angry, bitter little boy, too much like his uncle.
At least Wei Wuxian can admit his stupidity. At least Jiang Cheng can recognise his own, hearing the words of Jin Guangyao echoing in his mind, punishing him decades later - they were afraid. If he had simply stood by his brother as he had expected Wei Wuxian to stand by him... Would people have lived? Would they be happy? How different the world looks when you look back and recognise the mistakes of the past.
In his chest, his golden core burns - a core that isn't his own. Perhaps it wishes it was back with its true master. Perhaps it hears the pain Jiang Cheng feels, thinking of how willing he had been to give up his own life, and begs for him to address it, to speak it aloud.
Take care, sharp words from his nephew in his mind. What an idiot he is. ]
At least you can say it now.
[ Because he won't, even if it's true, his face twisted in hurt and pain.
The only thing that breaks him out of it is the arms that wrap around him, holding him so gently, so tenderly, in a way no one has dared to do since their sister had died. How sad it is to realise that there is no one who embraces you, no one who loves you, who would hug you when you are sad - because he will hug his nephew, of course, and A-Ling did not grow without love and affection, but he would never allow it in return.
He is a pillar, but in the wake of his brother's arms all he can do is cry. ]
You stupid man. You're such an idiot, Wei Wuxian, blind to everything around you.
[ And Jiang Cheng wishes he could say what's on his tongue, what haunts him, but all he can do is grasp at the back of Wei Wuxian's robes, holding onto them and wishing he was someone different. ]
me: arrives late carrying angst
When they were younger their paths had been set out in front of them, built by his parents with notes so easy to follow. Jiang Yanli would marry into the Jin Sect and create an alliance that would benefit Yunmeng for generations. Wei Wuxian would stay as the Head Disciple, to stand by their leader's side and prove the worth of the Jiang Sect for the rest of their long lives. He, Jiang Cheng, would rise up and take his father's place once he retired, being trained and well-educated in how best to continue. He would marry a suitable woman and raise children to take on the mantle once he, too, grew too old and tired.
None of that had happened. Yanli had died. Jin Zixuan had died. The option of marriage had been taken from him with the wreckage of the Sunshot Campaign, leaving Wen Qing a prisoner of fate - the kind that he could not save her from due to his own rage and heartache. Each person in his life had chosen something other than the path he had wanted - that he had thought was their plan. Yanli had been taken, had chosen Wei Wuxian in death. Wen Qing and Wen Ning gave their lives to protect another. Wei Wuxian had chosen the Wen Clan over the Jiang and taken his own steps into the future.
Jiang Cheng had never had a choice. Even in hindsight, looking back, he knows that he had been backed into a corner - either by desperation or by the other Sect Leaders, demanding that he choose, demanding that he either protect what remained of Lotus Pier or he protect the Yiling Patriarch. There had never been a choice there, not with the burden of dozens of deaths on his shoulders, with the ghosts of his parents staring at him from beyond the grave.
Hands shaking, he turns his gaze away from Wei Wuxian to stare up at the shrine, to their names hovering there, almost taunting. There is no chance that his father and his mother are proud of him now, no matter what Wei Wuxian might say. There is no way that Yanli looks down on him with a smile when he had been unable to protect her, when he had raised A-Ling to be an angry, bitter little boy, too much like his uncle.
At least Wei Wuxian can admit his stupidity. At least Jiang Cheng can recognise his own, hearing the words of Jin Guangyao echoing in his mind, punishing him decades later - they were afraid. If he had simply stood by his brother as he had expected Wei Wuxian to stand by him... Would people have lived? Would they be happy? How different the world looks when you look back and recognise the mistakes of the past.
In his chest, his golden core burns - a core that isn't his own. Perhaps it wishes it was back with its true master. Perhaps it hears the pain Jiang Cheng feels, thinking of how willing he had been to give up his own life, and begs for him to address it, to speak it aloud.
Take care, sharp words from his nephew in his mind. What an idiot he is. ]
At least you can say it now.
[ Because he won't, even if it's true, his face twisted in hurt and pain.
The only thing that breaks him out of it is the arms that wrap around him, holding him so gently, so tenderly, in a way no one has dared to do since their sister had died. How sad it is to realise that there is no one who embraces you, no one who loves you, who would hug you when you are sad - because he will hug his nephew, of course, and A-Ling did not grow without love and affection, but he would never allow it in return.
He is a pillar, but in the wake of his brother's arms all he can do is cry. ]
You stupid man. You're such an idiot, Wei Wuxian, blind to everything around you.
[ And Jiang Cheng wishes he could say what's on his tongue, what haunts him, but all he can do is grasp at the back of Wei Wuxian's robes, holding onto them and wishing he was someone different. ]