( Wei Wuxian denies none of it, not the accusations of his idiocy, not his blindness. They're true, and in other ways unfair, but in his younger years he had taken more and more and more on his shoulders, taken burdens he never discussed, never asked about, never sought support for. Not from the brother and sister he was trying to protect. Not from his heart's closest friend, his soulmate. He had instead compartmentalised and cut himself off, repeatedly, choosing to decide what people could handle, to determine what they should be spared, and never once asked. Manipulated, pushed, pulled, but didn't ask.

He's aware of that now, even with it still being hard to fully change those tendencies. The cruelty of telling his brother in the temple, it's in the past, we must move on. Like Jiang Cheng hasn't been living with and carrying any of these things for years. Like Lan Zhan hadn't been, as well.

So here he is, hugging Jiang Cheng, and he goes from gentle hold to more firm when he's not shaken off. )

I know I am.

( He can say, so he does. Along with: )

I'm trying to do better.

( Because that, too... is a truth he's wrestling with. )

What I said in the temple... the past is something we can't change. I messed up. It doesn't matter what Jin Guangyao was influencing as well, or what he said. I messed up, and I didn't think to talk to you about any of the things I thought you wouldn't handle well.

( Why is he saying this when hugging Jiang Cheng? Two reasons: neither of them can run away, they're both anchored, and Jiang Cheng knows now why Wei Wuxian keeps folding like wet paper under every strike that used to barely cause him to blink; second, now that he's initiated a hug, he does not actually know how to end one.

He is, in fact, going to keep holding on waiting for Jiang Cheng, and all his tears, to indicate when the hugging is over. Jiang Cheng will surely know! Because one of them needs to, and Wei Wuxian is not that man. )