[ Jiang Cheng has never been able to let go of those closely guarded feelings, the intense jealousies that have clouded him from childhood to now. He thinks of the fact that now, with Jin Ling, with his family, with his connections, even now people will not choose him. Why would A-Ling come to him, Sect Leader Jiang, when Wei Wuxian is more interesting, more personable? He had sent fairy away. That was enough to show Jiang Cheng that Wei Wuxian was worming his way, even now.

But for all his irritation and all his jealousy he's not truly mad. He's sad, sad that his nephew can forgive and overcome boundaries far faster than he was ever able to do. Jiang Cheng has never been well-versed in forgiveness, for himself or for others, and that has not changed. He feels the burden of it as a leader, as a brother and as a father, no gentleness saved for any kindness towards himself. Why should he, when blame stands at his feet even now?

Hands shaking, he can barely look at Wei Wuxian, ashamed and broken all at the same time. (He has no mind to dwell on A-Yuan left behind, the small boy that had claimed his leg, not making the connection in his broken state -) ]

Wei Wuxian. You don't understand.

[ His breathing is a little more ragged now, trying to restrain tears even as he tries to swallow through the sobs in his throat. It's too much. ]

You were never nothing. You were everything.

[ Brother, disciple, friend, ally, saviour, hero - then enemy, villain, martyr. So many things that Jiang Cheng could never have hoped to be. So many things that he should have learned to be with his brother there to guide him, but it had slipped through his fingers as surely as his brother's hand had slipped through Lan Wangji's on the mountain. ]

I didn't keep chenqing for a joke. I kept it because I never wanted to let you go. I never chose that.