( the tea cup slips out of his hands and hits the counter, bounces, and Wei Wuxian catches it in the spray of hot water and hot ceramic in a fumble as he dances back, yelping. )
Wangji quickly gets up and around the table so he can catch Wei Ying's wrist, and pull him towards the sink and put his hand under the cold water spray right away.]
( He protests verbally without offering any physical resistance when Lan Zhan pulls him over to the sink, running his hand under cold water. He honestly doesn't feel much of it, but telling that to Lan Zhan seems wrong, too, in a sense, like he's admitting something that's not normal. So he doesn't say that, just repeats: )
I'm fine, really, Lan Zhan, I am.
( But if this helps, and logically he knows for the sake of his skin, it does help, then he won't fight it. Just bite his lower lip, thinking and fussed over his own thoughts, and: )
Do you... do you want that?
( Living together, it feels like an even more intimate step, and he's scared, a bit, of there being a tipping point he'll find if they're living together and what happens, what happens if he suddenly feels too cooped up? What if Lan Zhan finds him too annoying? It's one thing to tolerate in friends, but he's seen how slow fractures can drive people from caring about each other to loving under heavy weights of frustration and unhappiness, and he doesn't live with Yanli to see how she and Zixuan handle themselves, to know it's okay. Zixuan refused to have anything to do with her most their lives, so even that! There's no precedence. None that he has. )
[Wangji takes a second before he nods. Yes, if he is very honest with himself, he would want that. He didn't really think about it before, but... in the past two years, how many nights has Wei Ying ended up in his apartment? Or Wangji at his? Even befre this new development between them, it happened frequently enough and Wangji has bene feeding him for close to a year.]
You don't have to decide right now. Just... think about it?
( He looks from the water flowing over his hand to Lan Zhan, studying his face. He feels shy, deflated, less confident, and then smiles, the sideways expression of his uncertainty. )
I... yeah. I mean, yes, I, it'd be easier for some things ( and he blushes, just a touch, because he doesn't mean sex until he thinks and concludes okay, sex may be part of it, but the food and the back and forth and the everything else? ) but I know I'm not easy to live with.
[Do you even know, Wei Ying? Probably not, because you have bene pretty dumb about this whole thing, but still even you should be able to go back a bit and realize how long Wangji has been around you, orbiting you.]
Are you planning t become a totally different person? I'm not saying it's easy, Wei Ying, being in a relationship. But it's not like you to give up without even trying.
I don't know, that's who I am now, who am I going to be five years from now?
( He's not thinking short term, and that may be part of the problem, because he wants, desperately, to think long term. Then balks, because his life has never supported long term investments to any fruitful ending. He slides his hand up from Lan Zhan's wrist to cup over the hand cupping his face. )
I don't know how to do this.
( And it means making himself vulnerable, like this morning, like in the shower, like now. Like so many things he's not good at, because letting someone in deeper means missing them harder if they're gone, and he's so used to people leaving. )
[Wangji won't say he isn't thinking about long term, because he very much is but he also very much knows how much that spooks Wei Ying. Proof : exactly what just happened.]
Maybe don't start by thinking about five years from now, then. It's not like I expect you to say yes or no right away.
Think about next month instead. And when it comes around, think about what I asked, and how you feel like answering then.
[He's literally waited for years for you to notice him, he can wait for a few months for you to decide if you're comfortable living together.]
We're already at each other's place all the time. It would be the same except without the driving back and forth.
( he doesn't know how to pin down why this makes him both happy, in a sense, and why it's hard. but he can nod right now, he can agree to think on it, he can work through why it is he feels like this and see if there's any logic behind it, if there's a way around it.
but the thought of moving into Lan Zhan's apartment, nice as it is, undemanding as it is, makes part of him feel hemmed in, trapped, and unhappy, and he doesn't want Lan Zhan to think any of those things are about him. it's just his issues. it's something there, curled under his skin, saying sons of servants know their place, and what kneeling for hours feels like, in unhappy, forcibly forgotten ways. )
Mmm. Then... next month, okay? I promise. I'll think about it.
( and he turns his face to press a kiss into Lan Zhan's palm. )
( though he says that, mentally distracted, almost pulling his hand away the next second, and catching himself before he does.
this has been enough of an up and down he'll even let himself be put back to bed, so if he crawls back out, it's just where he's not seen. or he'll sleep again, because his head's all thrown off and he's not sure what to swing between "woke up with sex" and "erotic shower" and "breakfast" and "freaking out at the thought of living at his place."
he blinks back to awareness and turns off the faucet, looking for something to dry his hand. )
[Definitely putting you back to bed, and sitting on the bed next to you with a book so you can rest without fretting about him not being around or doing housework. The apartment has state of the art appliances, thankfully, so all there is to do is load the dishwasher and let it run.
All Wangji has to do is to keep an eye on the time for when he'll need to leave for the music building, since Wei Ying said he wanted to come. For now...]
( which, he doesn't want to sleep, exactly, but then he does lay down and start counting out the digits of pi (leave him alone, if it works, it works), and somewhere along the way he is in fact sleeping again, breathing regularly, and curled up on his side in fetal position, slow to uncurl. )
[After a while, Wangji puts down his book to simply watch Wei Ying sleep, fingers lazily running through his hair. He checks on the hand, too, but the burn really seems to be mostly gone.
( His first response is unintelligible, not asking for more time, but apparently schematics for some kind of... engineering... process... is it for a computer system. Is it for a dam. One can't tell, it's all mumbled.
Lan Zhan will have to nudge him harder to rouse him when he's so very content, feeling like he's been soothed into some more comfortable place while he's been sleeping here. Also too well fed, food coma did wonders for dropping him back off to sleep when he'd had the same amount of sleep last night as Lan Zhan. )
[This is... both unsurprising and yet strangely adorable.
But also comforting, to see Wei Ying sleeping so soundly. He's always been a bit puzzled by how Wei Ying could function with how he sleeps.
Well, time for stronger measures. Wangji is juts going to bend over and kiss Wei Ying. because you can't wake your boyfriend every single time with a blow job and this time, he actually has a timetable to follow.]
( Is a muffled response as he rolls over and gains his hands and knees to waddle off the bed. Wei Wuxian manages to not fall out so much as ooze directionally forward, until he gains his feet long after Lan Zhan's already off to the call of rice, and he heads for the closet, pulling on slacks and a shirt he layers over with a sweater, leaving his long hair only partly pulled back in a messy half-knot of its own.
He has those half-ankle socks in hand when he joins Lan Zhan, looking more awake, and a little uncertain, though he shoves that off his expression quickly enough. )
( He stretches, socks still in hand, and flashes Lan Zhan a smile. Whatever is a kind of tangled mess in his head is mostly a pleasant one at the moment, so it's not even a lie. )
How did you get me to sleep that much longer after putting me to bed early last night, Lan Zhan? You're a man of countless mysteries.
( Meanwhile this man is heading for the cupboard to pull out plates for them to use, and glasses for: )
Yes, but usually that means I crawl in bed long after you've fallen asleep.
( There are reasons he could explain it to himself as a strong platonic bond, Lan Zhan, beyond being knowingly oblivious to all the things he's not allowed to want. )
Meaning I go to bed far later than you, so why wouldn't I sleep in, ah?
( Then he's filling the kettle and turning it on, the bubbling noise of it filling in the gaps of the sizzling and the small sounds of the rice cooker. He fetches down everything else they'll need for tea, then stretches again, up onto his toes, arching his back, arms reaching for the ceiling. )
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I'm okay!
( he says automatically, followed by: )
The cup's okay!
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Wangji quickly gets up and around the table so he can catch Wei Ying's wrist, and pull him towards the sink and put his hand under the cold water spray right away.]
... Wei Ying, be careful.
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I'm fine, really, Lan Zhan, I am.
( But if this helps, and logically he knows for the sake of his skin, it does help, then he won't fight it. Just bite his lower lip, thinking and fussed over his own thoughts, and: )
Do you... do you want that?
( Living together, it feels like an even more intimate step, and he's scared, a bit, of there being a tipping point he'll find if they're living together and what happens, what happens if he suddenly feels too cooped up? What if Lan Zhan finds him too annoying? It's one thing to tolerate in friends, but he's seen how slow fractures can drive people from caring about each other to loving under heavy weights of frustration and unhappiness, and he doesn't live with Yanli to see how she and Zixuan handle themselves, to know it's okay. Zixuan refused to have anything to do with her most their lives, so even that! There's no precedence. None that he has. )
You, that wouldn't be too much?
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You don't have to decide right now. Just... think about it?
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I... yeah. I mean, yes, I, it'd be easier for some things ( and he blushes, just a touch, because he doesn't mean sex until he thinks and concludes okay, sex may be part of it, but the food and the back and forth and the everything else? ) but I know I'm not easy to live with.
( He's known this his whole life. )
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[Because let's face it, they're sleeping at each other's place more often than not, and Wangji keeps them fed.
He goes to cup Wei Ying's cheek.]
Why is it so hard for you to believe that I want to be with you?
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( He leans his cheek into the hand cupping his face, bringing his unharmed hand up, forming a loose ring around Lan Zhan's wrist. )
It's not as hard believing you care about me now. It's... it's hard believing you'll keep caring about me, later.
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[Do you even know, Wei Ying? Probably not, because you have bene pretty dumb about this whole thing, but still even you should be able to go back a bit and realize how long Wangji has been around you, orbiting you.]
Are you planning t become a totally different person? I'm not saying it's easy, Wei Ying, being in a relationship. But it's not like you to give up without even trying.
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( He's not thinking short term, and that may be part of the problem, because he wants, desperately, to think long term. Then balks, because his life has never supported long term investments to any fruitful ending. He slides his hand up from Lan Zhan's wrist to cup over the hand cupping his face. )
I don't know how to do this.
( And it means making himself vulnerable, like this morning, like in the shower, like now. Like so many things he's not good at, because letting someone in deeper means missing them harder if they're gone, and he's so used to people leaving. )
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Maybe don't start by thinking about five years from now, then. It's not like I expect you to say yes or no right away.
Think about next month instead. And when it comes around, think about what I asked, and how you feel like answering then.
[He's literally waited for years for you to notice him, he can wait for a few months for you to decide if you're comfortable living together.]
We're already at each other's place all the time. It would be the same except without the driving back and forth.
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but the thought of moving into Lan Zhan's apartment, nice as it is, undemanding as it is, makes part of him feel hemmed in, trapped, and unhappy, and he doesn't want Lan Zhan to think any of those things are about him. it's just his issues. it's something there, curled under his skin, saying sons of servants know their place, and what kneeling for hours feels like, in unhappy, forcibly forgotten ways. )
Mmm. Then... next month, okay? I promise. I'll think about it.
( and he turns his face to press a kiss into Lan Zhan's palm. )
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[Just to be sure. Meanwhile he's going to get the cup and put it away and get you a new one to pour tea in.
You're definitely going back for a nap after food, Wei Ying.]
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( though he says that, mentally distracted, almost pulling his hand away the next second, and catching himself before he does.
this has been enough of an up and down he'll even let himself be put back to bed, so if he crawls back out, it's just where he's not seen. or he'll sleep again, because his head's all thrown off and he's not sure what to swing between "woke up with sex" and "erotic shower" and "breakfast" and "freaking out at the thought of living at his place."
he blinks back to awareness and turns off the faucet, looking for something to dry his hand. )
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All Wangji has to do is to keep an eye on the time for when he'll need to leave for the music building, since Wei Ying said he wanted to come. For now...]
Have some rest.
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He only nudges a few hours later.]
Wei Ying, it's time for lunch.
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Lan Zhan will have to nudge him harder to rouse him when he's so very content, feeling like he's been soothed into some more comfortable place while he's been sleeping here. Also too well fed, food coma did wonders for dropping him back off to sleep when he'd had the same amount of sleep last night as Lan Zhan. )
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But also comforting, to see Wei Ying sleeping so soundly. He's always been a bit puzzled by how Wei Ying could function with how he sleeps.
Well, time for stronger measures. Wangji is juts going to bend over and kiss Wei Ying. because you can't wake your boyfriend every single time with a blow job and this time, he actually has a timetable to follow.]
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Whassat for?
( is the mumbled response, and he starts to stretch, and stretch, and stretch, like a cat waking from a particularly pleasant daytime snooze. )
'M awake, I'm awake, what time is it?
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[He says again. Yes, Wei Ying, he did let you sleep all morning.]
And then I have to go to the practice studio, like I told you. I'm going to go make some rice.
[He brought enough things in the fridge that they can make do with ice and re-heating some of the stuff, it'll be quick.]
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( Is a muffled response as he rolls over and gains his hands and knees to waddle off the bed. Wei Wuxian manages to not fall out so much as ooze directionally forward, until he gains his feet long after Lan Zhan's already off to the call of rice, and he heads for the closet, pulling on slacks and a shirt he layers over with a sweater, leaving his long hair only partly pulled back in a messy half-knot of its own.
He has those half-ankle socks in hand when he joins Lan Zhan, looking more awake, and a little uncertain, though he shoves that off his expression quickly enough. )
What's today's practice schedule?
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[Which is the minimum he usually gets, but they need to allow everyone access to those rooms.
The rice is in the cooker and there are some leftovers heating up in a pan. It'll be a quick lunch.]
... Are you alright?
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( He stretches, socks still in hand, and flashes Lan Zhan a smile. Whatever is a kind of tangled mess in his head is mostly a pleasant one at the moment, so it's not even a lie. )
How did you get me to sleep that much longer after putting me to bed early last night, Lan Zhan? You're a man of countless mysteries.
( Meanwhile this man is heading for the cupboard to pull out plates for them to use, and glasses for: )
Water? Tea?
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[Which he knows because he has spent the night a few times even before the dating became official.]
Besides, you usually wake up later than I woke you up this morning. This was only catch up sleep.
Tea, please.
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( There are reasons he could explain it to himself as a strong platonic bond, Lan Zhan, beyond being knowingly oblivious to all the things he's not allowed to want. )
Meaning I go to bed far later than you, so why wouldn't I sleep in, ah?
( Then he's filling the kettle and turning it on, the bubbling noise of it filling in the gaps of the sizzling and the small sounds of the rice cooker. He fetches down everything else they'll need for tea, then stretches again, up onto his toes, arching his back, arms reaching for the ceiling. )
What kind?
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