Eastbound Contact

[weifinder]

Wei Wuxian
missives | encounters

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[weifinder]

( Silence, for a beat. Two. Three. )

Making decisions on what he can or can't handle... I thought it was for the better. It wasn't my right, Lan Zhan. No matter how much I cared about him, or how much I wanted to spare him.

( Quieter still. )

It took me far too long to realise that.

[downswing]

( Wormwood on his tongue, bitter-sharp. Weeks of voyage whole. Sizhui, by any other name. )


It is not as the sword. With battering, the spirit gains no calluses. Only lessens itself.

[weifinder]

Then mine must look fairly threadbare these days, Lan Zhan.

[downswing]

...silken. Spider web.

[weifinder]

Sounds dangerous, ah? Spiderwebs are surprisingly strong for all their gossamer and lace.

[downswing]

Your belly is full. You have your quarry. Nothing to fear.

[weifinder]

More than millet. ( a soft huff, something more amused. ) My gratitude.

( but the fear? he has enough. plenty, paired to worry, and he needn't voice it, because he has faith, too. temper one with the other. move forward, always, and don't stop but to catch breath. )

[downswing]

To what end? Master Beitang complains I ill feed you.

[weifinder]

Master Beitang was watching my nude scramble with interest while refusing to believe in ghosts while we traveled with an army of souls. Truly, would you take his word on this to heart?

[downswing]

Say he is mistaken.

[weifinder]

Ah, you want me to tell him? I will, I will.

[downswing]

Speak the lie to me. You need not even meet my eyes.

[weifinder]

... Lan Zhan, I have never recovered my weight from before the war. That's no one's fault. You feed me better than I want to eat on what you find, ah? You remind me to eat at all! Whatever Moran says, I'm not that gaunt, I'm—

( Fine. )

—better than I was before.

[downswing]

Is it... ( How to say what a lifetime of brother's care has left for the taking as granted? ) — a hardship to accept care?

You. Mistress Wen. I do not intend to shepherd bones.

[weifinder]

( He wants: to reassure. To laugh, avoid, redirect. A lifetime of habit, that he's lowered sometimes, and Lan Zhan has been in those exceptions before, both when younger and older men.

Easier to deflect. Harder even to pause and admit anything when not in lower moments, when not on unstable enough ground even he can recognise he needs something like help. )

Not a hardship. Hard, but not a hardship.

[downswing]

Archery, sword flight, talismans, swordsmanship, the Yin amulet, demonic cultivation — mastered.

I beg you to learn this, also.

[weifinder]

I—have been, I think? Am I truly that horrible at it?

[downswing]

As the rabbits. A heartbeat quickened to a storm.

[weifinder]

Ahahaha, then isn't the best solution letting you pet me calm? ( An awkward, painfully awkward half beat later: ) I'm jesting, that was horrible, I—I'll do better on this.

[downswing]

Before. Jiang Yanli stroked your hair?


( Who else might have taught Wei Ying the indulgence of petting? And he saw them, during his visits of Wei Ying's inert body, after he overexerted himself in battle — saw her knelt, waiting. )

[weifinder]

( Perhaps his own parents, but he hasn't recalled for years, and his memory doesn't improve with age. The catch to his silence is telling in and of itself, as is the return of the awkward laughter. )

Hahaha, yes, well, she did. Shijie was a kind and generous soul.

( And he got her killed. Just like he'd walked the knife used against her husband close enough for people to set up the situation where he died. )

[downswing]

That is what you yearn for. The kindness.

[weifinder]

The warmth. She soothed. The only other one who ever has for me is you.

[downswing]

I am not a sister.

[weifinder]

( He chokes on something like laughter. )

Lan Zhan, and this may surprise you, but I have indeed noticed you are not a sister. I'm very fond of you exactly as you are.