[It's not nice to call him out, Wei-xiong, you know he still occasionally has panic attacks just because his boyfriend is nice.]
So you're telling me you let him cook for you not because you like his cooking and the fact that you are the only person he cooks for, but because it's easier than cooking yourself?
Tying yourself to someone who ceases wanting you when you're inconvenient? Failing someone who depends on your feelings when you don't even know what you're feeling because it can't only be the positives. I don't know, Fei-xiong, if friends and family don't even necessarily stay, can't you mess up so lovers leave too? Can't you only lose what's been defined?
For years, I didn't let myself care about anyone because I thought I was incapable of actually caring. I talked myself into it, because it made it easier, and I hid it with my infatuation with Tao Ran ge that I knew would never get anywhere. it turns out I do care, and other people care about me too, and tbh it's pretty terrifying
but I think if I didn't have that, I might be dead now.
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But really, Wei-xiong... aren't you enjoying him spoiling you like that? isn't nice to have someone who cares for you that way?
[Can you spell 'hypocrite', Fei Du?]
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Mm, Fei-xiong, aren't you? Isn't it nice?
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So you're telling me you let him cook for you not because you like his cooking and the fact that you are the only person he cooks for, but because it's easier than cooking yourself?
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Hey, I said nothing like that, I cook for myself just fine, though I might not eat as regularly.
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what things, then?
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you can, in fact, lose something that you didn't put words on or reach for
not having done so will not make you feel better about losing it.
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It's not logical, any of those thoughts, but you asked why.
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For years, I didn't let myself care about anyone because I thought I was incapable of actually caring. I talked myself into it, because it made it easier, and I hid it with my infatuation with Tao Ran ge that I knew would never get anywhere. it turns out I do care, and other people care about me too, and tbh it's pretty terrifying
but I think if I didn't have that, I might be dead now.
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Thank you, Wei-xiong.
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I can remind you periodically too. Hello, good morning! I'm glad you're alive!
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